What is David Stern Thinking? NBA Opening Night

Welcome back, NBA. Whew....good to have you back in our life.

Tuesday night kicked off the NBA season with the prime time match up of the Wizards vs. Cavs Celtics vs. Heat. Lots of story lines in this game, but we'll save that for another time.

Instead, let's get to David Stern. Mr. Commissioner announced last week that he will be stepping down on February 1st, 2014, rounding out a 30 year run as the league's leader.

In his first appearance post retirement announcement, David Stern started off the Miami Heat Ring Ceremony by first acknowledging the tragedy and aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Seriously.


At that point, I tweeted, "Nice start David Stern #sandynotkatrina #checkedoutalready"

Obviously, just a slip of the tongue by Stern, but it was interesting timing with him knowing he is on his way out, so maybe he'll just go into check out mode, with a side of I'll do whatever the hell I want mode (I guess the latter is what he is in the majority of the time anyway).

As the ring ceremony got underway, we wondered what Stern was saying to each player as he shook their hand. Everything written below could, or could not be what was actually exchanged.

Terrel Harris: "Who the f are you?"  (not only did Stern say this, but so did everyone else in America)
Norris Cole: "You're right...having that box haircut is the only way someone would ever notice you on this team."
Dexter Pittman: "Just because I'm on my way out, don't think you can pull any of that dirty crap you did last year. I'll be watching you....even if you only play 4 games this year."
Joel Anthony: "Who's Anthony, Who's Anthony?....Wayne's World, anyone?"
Juwan Howard: "Who would have thought you'd be the last Fab 5 member playing in the NBA?"
Mike Miller: "Don't go auctioning this ring off, like you did your house." 
Udonis Haslem: "You have two NBA championship rings?!"
Shane Battier: "Why can't everyone in the NBA be as nice as you? Oh, and cut the flopping, would ya?"
Mario Chalmers: "I would say I know how it feels to be yelled at by everyone, but I don't....sorry."
Chris Bosh: "I loved you in Avatar."
Dwyane Wade: "You don't know how many times I spelled your name D-w-a-y-n-e, instead of D-w-y-a-n-e."
LeBron James: "Remember that whole thing about beating the Lakers in 6 we talked about last year, let's make it 7." (shout-out to Grantland.com)

NBA Finals Game Six: Pregame thoughts and a (psuedo) Running Diary of the Rest

It's amazing what can happen in two weeks, five basketball games and five quarters of basketball. The last time we wrote, LeBron James was fresh off a complete takeover of the Eastern Conference Finals, proving that he had taken the next step and could succeed in the role of "closer" (or so we thought).

LeBron walked into the Finals on top of the NBA World

What has occurred in the NBA Finals through five games has been baffling. The same LeBron that had the killer instinct in knocking out the Bulls, went back to looking like a scared and uninterested player, scoring just a total of 11 points in five 4th quarters.

I'll admit, I stuck up for LeBron after Game 3, using the argument that Wade was the guy that night, and there was no reason for James to try and take over. He ended up making one of the biggest (and underrated) plays of the game with a tough no-look pass to Chris Bosh(face) for the game winner. After Games 4 and 5 though, its easy to see that LeBron still isn't the player we want him to be. We want him to be THE man. He is the most gifted athlete we've ever seen play in the NBA. He allegedly is "The Chosen One" and "The King". If that's the case, then put your team on your back (Wade included) and live up to your "Global Icon" status. And when you do record the quietest triple-double in NBA history, don't act as if you don't know why people are criticizing your performance.

With all that said, we have some basketball to play and watch. Some thoughts on Game 6 (currently in progress):

-Five minutes remaining in the 1st quarter and Dirk picks up his second foul. Brian Cardinal comes into the game, and the Mavericks go on a 17-3 run to open up an eight point lead right before the end of the first quarter.

-LeBron came out hitting a few jumpers. Definitely important for him to get going early, but no one will REALLY care what he does unless its in the 4th quarter.

-DeShawn Stevenson and Eddie House try to steal the spotlight in the 2nd quarter w/ a barrage of three pointers. After one of House's threes, Stevenson and Haslem start a little "fake tough guy" skirmish (Kevin Durant is smiling) going to timeout. Mario Chalmers came in from out of nowhere to get involved. His nickname should be "The Mosquito", because he is that annoying.

-Since the skirmish, Jason Terry scored 8 of the Mavericks next 11 points to give them a 2 point lead late in the 1st half. Jet has 17 points. Oh, and that guy named Dirk....he's 1-11 shooting. So for those of you scoring at home, the Mavs are up by 2, and Dirk only has only made one FG. If you have any involvement with the Miami Heat franchise, you can't feel good about that.

-At the half, Mavericks lead 53-51. Jason Terry, who was quiet (and called out for it) in the first three games, has now TOTALLY redeemed himself, Lloyd Christmas style. He's got 19, while LeBron has 11, and Dirk is 1-12.

SECOND HALF

-Dirk hits the first shot he takes. Chalmers makes a three and probably has an annoying little celebration afterwards. Normalcy restored.

LeBron's Disappearing Act in the NBA Finals

-LeBron passes up a 15 ft jumper, and then passes up a wide open 3 pointer only to turn it over on the drive. I don't get it.

-Wade hits a runner in transition to cut the Dallas lead to 65-62. Wade now has a 11, wouldn't be surprised if he goes into take over mode right now.

-And with that said, next possession James has 4-11 JJ Barea guarding him, and he gets called for an obvious offensive foul.

-Brian Cardinal with a hard foul on Chris Bosh. Cardinal's nickname is "The Custodian". Amazing.

-Two minutes later, The Custodian takes a charge on Wade. Wade gets a Technical. The Custodian is seriously having a huge effect on this game. A few plays later he delivers a hard foul on Haslem.

-With 1:49 left to go in the 3rd quarter, LeBron takes (and makes) his first shot of the quarter, a layup in the post. Dallas still leads 74-71.

-Jason Kidd is playing like its 2001. Just throws up a three and it goes in. Actually, in 2001 he couldn't make threes either....but you get what I mean. Dallas up 79-71 w/ under a minute to go in the 3rd quarter.

-Thanks to an Ian Mahinmi 15-footer at the buzzer, Dallas leads 81-72 going to the fourth. That's Mahinmi, number 28 in your program. Story of the game could be LeBron scoring a total of 5 points in the 2nd and 3rd quarter, or Jason Terry dropping 21 thus far, or The Custodian's. But if you really look at it, the Heat have missed 11 free throws thus far. Can't do that in any game, but especially in an elimination game.

-Wade with a STRONG drive to the hoop - gets it but misses the free throw (shocker). I'll say that "Wade is about to takeover" line again, just in case.

-PUERTO RICO......OHHHHHH. Huge three by JJ Barea. Mavs go up 7 with 10 minutes left. Oh, and LeBron is on the bench.

-9:30 left. Heat down 8. LeBron comes back into the game.

-LeBron drives, spins, shoots and hits the backboard and nothing else. That was the possession after D-Wade dribbled off his foot. Heat are falling apart.

-Barea w/ a nifty drive and layup. Mavs up 89-77. Does ABC have a camera anywhere in Puerto Rico??!? They must be going nuts for JJ right now.

-With 7 minutes left, LeBron makes a bucket in the 4th quarter. Cuts the lead to 91-82.

-With 6:30 minutes left, LeBron makes another bucket in the 4th quarter. Heat still down 8.

-With 5:00 minutes left, LeBron drives and turns it over. Heat still down 8.

-Tyson Chandler with a huge offensive rebound to give the Mavs a new :24....didn't someone once say something about rebounding and rings?

-DIRK!!!  WADE!!! Superstars exchange CLUTCH shots with 3:15 left. Anyone seen LeBron lately?

How you like me now? (nice touch w/ the tongue, Dirk)

-DIRK!!! with 2:27, Dirk drains a another  patented fadeaway jumper. Mavs up 99-89 under 2 to play.

-LeBron knocks down a 3 with 1:55 with the Heat down 12. Garbage points, Bron. They don't count.

-DIRK!! with some style points....Mavs go up 103-92 with 25 seconds left.

-The Mosquito hits a 3 to make the score 105-95 with 16 seconds left.

-Mavs dribble out the clock and knock off the Miami Heat. THANK YOU to the Dallas Mavericks. I would say, you have no idea what you've just done...but I think you know. Huge win for sports in general.

-Some final stats: Jason Terry finished with 27 points and one tattoo of the championship trophy on his bicep. Dirk had 21 and another clutch performance down the stretch to quiet the critics. The Custodian had 3 points, 3 hard fouls, took a charge and has a really cool nickname. For the Heat, Wade finishes with 17, while James finishes with a quiet 21, including 7 in the 4th quarter, and another disappointing performance when it counts.

-Congrats to Dirk, J-Kidd, Jet, JJ, and the rest of the Mavs. Huge shoutout to head coach Rick Carlisle, who has long been one of the more underrated coaches in the league. This playoffs, he took down Phil Jackson and the Lakers, took Scotty Brooks "pants off" when it came to coaching, and taught Coach Spo a thing or two in the Finals. With his new crew cut, Carlisle doesn't look like Jim Carey that much anymore, but he does look like an NBA Champion.

LeBron: Best in Show...Right Now.

Before you start reading this post, reach up to your eyes and remove the "I Hate LeBron" colored shades you might be wearing. I took mine off on Tuesday night. That allowed me to watch LeBron close out Game 4 that night, and then help orchestrate the greatest comeback/collapse in recent memory. I'm just waiting for the new NBA commercial..."The Eastern Conference Finals: Where 18-3 in the final two minutes and forty-five seconds Happens."

This is not the scene most NBA fans wanted to see.

It's well documented that Daily Onions has not been the biggest fan of the Miami Heat, LeBron James and Chris Bosh this year. We weren't impressed when LeBron lit up the Cavs in his first return, we knocked them when they cried after a regular season loss, we said LeBron couldn't close (which was valid), and we thought LeBron's apology to for The Decision AFTER he beat the Celtics was a day late and a dollar short.

Now I'm not going to go all Scottie Pippen on you and claim that LeBron James is the greatest all-around basketball player ever. That's just stupid, Scottie. I will say this though. LeBron James might be taking that next step. It's the step that he has been missing for the past 7 years. The step that is him putting his foot on the throat of the opponent, and closing something out. He did against Boston by scoring the final ten points of a game to seal it. He closed out the Bulls in Game 2, 4 and 5. Remember that suspect jump shot that he had, well it looked to be quite deadly last night with a couple of threes to get the Heat back into the game, and then the 18 foot pull-up jumper to give them the lead for good. Throw in what he did on the defensive end, shutting down this year's (well-deserved) MVP Derrick Rose in the last quarter of the final two games, pretty damn impressive (We'll get to Rose's struggles in a second).

You can hate the way LeBron James left Cleveland (we do), but if you truly enjoy watching the game of basketball on the court, what LeBron has done in the last two weeks has proven that he is hands down the best player in the NBA right now (Scottie, notice the two words "right now"). We've all witnessed him go through his growing pains over the last few seasons, but in this playoffs he's started to put it all together. Does the fact that he teamed up with Wade and Bosh to help get to this point rub me the wrong way? Yes. It does. Does his wink after the flop last night annoy me? Absolutely. But the skill, athleticism, and tenacity that he has had in the past few weeks, is all him. And its scary good.

As much as it pains me to say this, I think Miami beats Dallas in the Finals. I hate that part of this whole thing. Its bad for the future of the NBA. You get 2 super-duper stars on one team, throw in another all-star (I'll admit, Bosh had a pretty good series vs. the Bulls), and you can win in your first year of playing together. That pep-rally they threw in mid-July was just foreshadowing for what they'll do to celebrate in a few weeks. I don't like that part of it. I wanted LeBron to go head to head with Wade to see who was the best in the league, not team up with him to dominate the next few years. That's not happening, and now we need another super team to form and knock off the Heat (Dwight Howard, or a good shooting guard, if you are reading this, feel free to crash in our guest room while you are thinking about how to get traded to Chicago).

And now a few words about Derrick Rose. First of all, don't rip on Rose for taking a jumper at the end of regulation of Game 4. At that point in the game, there was NO WAY Rose was taking LeBron off the dribble to get to the rim. Either there needs to be a play drawn up where Rose is coming off a screen and catching on the wing, or you are living and dying by a pull-up jumper. Last night, the final three minutes of the game could have been Rose's worst three minutes of the season, or even career (minus a nice baby hook floater in the lane w/ 1:45 left). He fouled Wade on a breakaway layup for a 3-point play, he fouled Wade on a three for a 4-point play, he turned the ball over when the game was tied, and missed a free throw that would have tied the game with 25 seconds left. Before we take the MVP trophy away from him, let's remember this. First, his supporting cast let him down. Carlos Boozer might have replaced Chris Bosh at the top of the "Daily Onions Most Disliked Overrated Power Forwards with the initials CB" list. The Bulls aren't winning anything if Boozer is your next best scoring option. Secondly, Rose is 22-years old, and this was his first Eastern Conference Finals. Not many of the greats won at this age, or their first time around. Derrick Rose will be back to this stage (next year?) and he'll be better. The "only" bad thing is, so will the Heat.

Daily Onions Page 5: Celeb Sightings for NBA's Eastern Conference Finals

Instead of going to the New York Post's Page 6 to get your celebrity dirt and sightings, just come to Daily Onions Page 5 (its a page earlier, so its quicker to get to).

Between the Eastern Conference Finals featuring the Bulls and Heat, and some woman named Oprah filming one of her last tv shows, the city of Chicago has been buzzing with celebs from entertainment and sports.

While we didn't run into any of the Oprah crew, Daily Onions was running in the same circles as some sports notables last night.

With a college friend in town (Go Cuse!) covering the Heat-Bulls series, we've done our best to hit some of the best restaurants the Windy City has to offer. Last night it was Gibsons Steakhouse. A late reservation due to prior job #1 commitments meant we were entering a packed house at 9 pm.

Bosh Face

• On the way to our table we spotted Bears middle linebacker Brian Urlacher finishing up dinner with some friends.
• Following our own dinner, which included the avocado and crab meat appetizer (amazing), salad, filet mignon, side of mash and some strawberry shortcake to close things out (who's hungry now??), we rubbed shoulders with the Heat's top player in Game 1. Chris Bosh, who is known for the Bosh Face and for being a foodie, strolled into Gibson's at 11:15pm to sit down for dinner. I guess if you don't need to be at shoot around until 11 am the next day, you can start thinking about dinner plans around midnight.
• Working the bar at Gibsons as if it were the sideline of an NBA game, TNT's Craig Sager was missing his loud and eclectic collection of blazers, but he was rocking a pretty sweet zip up argyle sweater, with some multi-colored Nike sneaks (as a sneakerhead myself, I was impressed).
• We eventually moved from Gibsons to The Lodge (how can this night get any better - The Lodge - one of my favorite bars in the city). Holding court at The Lodge was TNT's Steve Kerr, who was laughing it up with some friends, most likely reminiscing about all the big shots he hit for the Bulls back in the day. Broadcast partners Marv Albert and Reggie Miller were nowhere to be found.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't Oprah's "Murderer's Row" of Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Madonna, Beyonce, etc; but for basketball fans following the NBA's Eastern Conference Finals, it wasn't too bad. Now we'll just need to figure out where Ernie, Kenny and Charles will be after the game tonight.